Monday, February 2, 2009

Football and February

Ah, a new month!!!! I can't wait!!!!
So many things to do! And I'm so happy!
This month includes Lincoln's birthday, Valentines Day, Presidents Day, and Washington's Birthday?
Oh, you know we girls love Valentines Day! (Well not this girl, and many other girls I know, but-) Okay, Let's try women. Women (for the most part) love Valentines Day and all the candy and roses that come along with it.

Oh, and need I mention the Super Bowl yesterday?

Talk about cool and fun!
I spent the time reading, listening to music, watching a movie, and eating pizza!
*dodges rotten tomatoes*

Okay, I'll admit, I'm not the biggest football fan. Frankly, my mom knows more about football that I do.
She can predict the penalties that the umpires dish out!!! I just sit around and cheer when there's a touchdown. I understand that the football players do their best to get to the yellow line pictured on the football field to get a 1st down, but I just don't really get it. Especially the penalties. Like excessive celebrating? C'mon! Don't they have a right to???? Okay, I can see the reason there, but still!
Don't get me wrong, though. I do like football! Especially when we play it in P.E. (but it's not the tackling kind...fortunately) Well, I sort of like it...Like when I'm an innocent spectator...*grins*

Let's imagine GoMC attempting to play football...This will be some of what has happened to me for real, plus a little of my storyteller jazzing up of it.

GoMC tries to run, all the while screaming (well, not really) for the quarterback to pass it to her.
Bad idea.
GoMC bangs into another person and they both get a mouthful of lush green grass. GoMC suddenly wonders why cows and horses love the stuff.
She also wonders if she'll go broke paying for the other kid's injuries...
Several individuals remind her that it's not tackle football. She smiles weakly.

One again GoMC runs around like a beheaded chicken. She serves this way and that, trying to keep open.
"Throw it to meeeee!"
The pass is given to someone else.
GoMC wonders why they never pass the ball to girls.
She's about to find out.

GoMC is open. She waves her hands around. The quarterback's eyes meet hers.
GoMC's heart races.
She's about to get the ball! She can already hear the dramatic music, the cheers roaring from the sidelines, (though no one sits at the bleachers. They probably don't want to watch her mutilating the honor of football) and triumphant tears as she holds up a shiny gold trophy!
Her hands take shape, the ball is coming!
But alas! It slams into her face, and GoMC is knocked down.
She recovers.
Oh, bother, she thinks.
She also starts wondering if there's any way she'll be able to cover up the shiner that's sure to come.

GoMC is pumped up. Her team is leading (unfortunately, no thanks to her) and they have the ball.
"I'm open!" she shouts. "I'm so totally open!"
She alerts her teammates of her whereabouts, but she also alerts people on the other team. Oh, and maybe some people in China....

It's almost the end of the game, and GoMC's team is in the end zone! Other people keep a good distance from her, knowing what a klutz she is. But GoMC is determined. She gets positioned for a touchdown. The quarterback sees her. The ball arcs up...
It is caught!
GoMC has made a touchdown!!!
She grins, accepting the congratulations and the demands for her insurance company's number...
And she rides off into the sunset on a horse that has miraculously appeared.
"I wonder if there's a need for any new players on the basketball team," she muses.
Her horse neighs loudly.
"All right! All right. I'll stick to Tae Kwon Do," she mutters.

God Bless,


God's Soldier said...

Yep, February is a great month.

You don't sound that bad of a football player.

Anonymous said...

that is funny! I love playing all sports, especially playing basketball! I enjoy watching football better than playing it.

Lauren Ann

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