Fireworks of Forgiveness: Part Two

This tale is continued from yesterday's post. If you'd like to read, just scroll on down to Part One.

 ~*~

Jason stopped and stared. "Grace?" he whispered.

Grace hopped off of the pew and grabbed her purse. "I'm sorry, I'll be going now."

"No, wait!" Jason grabbed her arm. "Grace, I haven't seen you since... since graduation. Can we talk?" 

Grace looked up at Jason. How he had changed in four years. A heavy sadness came over her, and she slowly nodded. They both sat down on her pew and Jason, always the conversationalist, began talking.

"It's great seeing you again, Grace," he said, softly. "The church has missed you in the nursery and youth group." He chuckled. "The food fight picture in still up on the Wall of Weird."

Grace couldn't help but grin. "Worst idea we ever had."

"Are you kidding me?" Jason was full-out laughing now. "I was sneezing ketchup for weeks."

An uncomfortable silence settled between them for a few minutes.

"So, Grace, why aren't you at the fireworks?"

She glared at him. "I could ask you the same thing."

Jason leaned back and propped his feet up on the pew in front of them. "It was the weirdest thing. I was about to go there, but then I get this feeling like I forgot to do something." He glanced at Grace. "Since I'm going into the seminary, the church lets me do a lot of things, like closing the church and coming whenever I want to."

"And?" Grace turned to face Jason.

Jason closed his eyes and smiled. "I came back to see what I had forgotten. Apparently, God was telling me that I had forgotten to talk to you. For four long years."

Grace groaned and thumped back against the pew. "Jason..."

"Listen to me, Grace. You've been hiding long enough. Why not accept Josh's death? He's in Heaven now."

"I know!" Grace yelled. "I've heard it all, Jason. But it's all my fault Josh is gone. If I had watched him better, I could have stopped everything. The pain, the mean looks, his death."

"Wait... you're guilty? All this time, I thought you were blaming G-"

"What, Jason? You thought I was just ignoring the church because I blamed God? I let God down, I was the one who let my family down!" Grace buried her face in her hands. "How could I show my face here when I knew everyone knew it was all my fault?"

Jason leaned in closer, his face completely serious. "I want to hear it from you, Grace. Tell me what happened that day."

"Fine." Grace let her shoulders sag. "It was in the afternoon, and you know back then we were allowed to light fireworks in our backyards?" 

Grace saw that Jason was nodding.

"Well, I was supposed to watch Josh and Bridgette to make sure they stayed away from the backyard while my dad cooked and Drake set up the fireworks. Mom was out shopping for last-minute decorations, and she made Drake go with her. So Bridgette and Jason start playing pet pretend games, and I thought they'd keep doing that, since it usually took them hours alone to figure out who would be the animal and who would be the owner."

Jason smiled at her. "Just like we did when we were little." 

Grace nodded. "So they were playing, and I was like, they're going to be okay. It's fine if I call Jess and see what she planned to wear, because she was so into fashion and I so wasn't. I was just talking to her for a few minutes, but the two had somehow managed to get outside. The next thing I knew, I heard Bridge scream and then there was a huge kaboom. I saw the flash of light at the same time, and then Bridge comes running in with her clothes on fire." She sniffed. "I started screaming Josh's name and dumped water on Bridge. Next thing I know, there are firefighters and medics everywhere. I-I was so confused, I had no clue that Josh was gone. I kept screaming for him, asking where he was. But then one of the guys came up to me."

"Oh, Grace." Jason groaned.

"He said that Josh was gone instantly."

"But you said you blame yourself? How could you have known that they would do that?"

"Jason, I disobeyed my parents. They told me to watch the little ones! In doing that, I disobeyed God."

"Yup."

"I deserved to be punished!"

"Agreed. But what happened to Josh was an accident. Did you know what would happen?"

"No! If I did, I never would have left them!"

"Mistakes were made, Grace. I wholeheartedly agree. But you've been suffering all these years. Didn't it ever occur to you that God is a forgiving God?"

"Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all. But what I did is a biggie."

"But what God did is a 'biggie' too. Remember? He gave up his life for the mistakes we made. You can't keep living like this, Gracie," he said, using her childhood nickname. "We've all missed you so much. Have you even spoken to your parents lately?"

"Well, no. I keep remembering the pain on their faces. I took their child away from them!"

"You didn't take Josh away from them; it was an accident on your part. Remember, God has a plan in everything. Joshua is in Heaven now. But I agree that you are taking a child away from your parents. You've deprived them of their daughter, Grace. They miss you."

Jason took both of her hands now. "God is ready to forgive you, Grace. He's given you grace beyond what you deserve. That's God. But forgiveness is sort of a two way thing. Do you accept it?"

"What?"

"God loves you. Seriously. Why turn your back on him when He's willing to forgive you?"

"You want me to pray to Him?" Grace squeaked. "It's been so long, I-"

"Please do it, Gracie. I'm here for you. Even better, God's here for you."

"Okay." Grace looked towards the front of the church, where a huge, wood cross hung. She smiled and bowed her head, talking with One who understood her more than she understood herself. When she looked up at last, she smiled at Jason with happy tears.

"Well?" he said.

"Let's go outside. I want to show you something," Grace whispered to him.

She took his hand and let him through the big church doors, to where the fireworks were still taking place.

"That's what it feels like, Jason. It's like I'm exploding with joy! Colors, bright colors, instead of the dark night."

Jason smiled down at her, and Grace knew he understood. "Fireworks of forgiveness, huh?"

~*~

God Bless,

Fireworks of Forgiveness: Part One

Hey, y'all! It's been a while since I've written a fiction story, so I thought it was about time. Part two will be posted tomorrow!

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 Fireworks of Forgiveness

by ~Prism~

Grace adjusted the browning petals on her bouquet of roses and tried not to think of how much time she had spent here over the past week, mourning. Kneeling beside the grave of her precious little brother, all she could think about was the sudden explosion of light from the backyard and the hysterical screams that she didn't realize were hers until the medics told her to calm down. The hysteria was soon replaced by a strange numbness when they told her that little Joshua was dead.

And it was all her fault.

Grace knelt beside the small grave and kissed the headstone. Joshua would have turned seven last month, but all Hannah saw was his three-year-old cuteness.

"Oh, Josh, I love you."

Grace didn't stop the tears that fell as she laid her roses on the grave.

It was time to go back.

Grace's apartment was small, but it was home. As Grace sat on the old stairs near her house, she thought about dinner that night. Her family had eventually moved on and accepted her brother's death, but every time they looked at her, she felt that familiar stab of guilt. They probably hated her. The fact that she was invited to their get-together was probably out of duty. But she would go, out of duty.

Grace hesitantly rang the doorbell of her childhood house and heard the familiar chime. Oh, how good it would be if she could turn back time!

"Grace! Thanks for coming!" Grace's sister nearly tackled her with a hug when she opened the door.

"Hey, Bridgette." Grace smiled half-heartedly.

Just get into a quiet corner and stay there, she reminded herself. She wasn't about to make this evening more painful than it already was.

Just as she was sneaking over to the dark den, Drake, Grace's always-sensitive older brother, quietly came over to her and took her hand.

"Grace, welcome home. I've missed you."

She blinked back tears and nodded. "Where's mom and dad?"

He shrugged. "I guess they're out with the grill. That thing has been a nightmare today. But hey," he nudged her, "You should come sit with me and Molly tonight to watch the fireworks. You know how much the kids love their favorite aunt."

Kids. Fourth of July. Fireworks.

Grace grimaced and took a step away from Drake. "Thanks, but you should enjoy this holiday with your family. I don't want to get in the way."

Drake looked at her for a long moment before replying, "If you're sure. But never forget, little sister, you are family. We love you, no matter what."

Grace nodded, as she always did, but she felt herself pulling into the familiar shell. He didn't really mean it. He knows it's my fault. It's my fault Joshua isn't here.

It was then Grace decided she had to go.

"I'll see you around, then."

Drake kissed her forehead like he knew what she was thinking. "Goodbye, sis."

Grace drove. Her little car whined and creaked the whole way, but she didn't care. She drove out of habit, not of sight. The tears wouldn't let her. Like a zombie, she got out of her car and found herself in front of her family's church. The church she had not attended since the death of her brother. She looked up at the sky and sighed. It was dark enough; the fireworks would start soon.

After climbing up the stairs, Grace pushed the heavy oak doors open, just as the first firecracker exploded in the sky. All was quiet inside, as most of the congregation was gathered at Grace's family's house, near the waterfront.

Were they all celebrating? Or were they all thinking about what had happened this day, four years ago?

Grace sat heavily in one of the back pews and pulled her knees up to her chest. She heard her mother crying in her room like she did most nights, though she put on a brave face for her family. She saw the sad lines etched around her father's face. She saw her family huddled together the day of the funeral. She felt the hollowness that had followed the burial of a life too young to end.

She felt a hand on her shoulder.

Grace's eyes flew open and she yelped.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I just- well, you see... Ma'am, I can't let you stay here. The church is closed for the fireworks."

Grace turned to see the face of her old high school and youth group buddy, Jason Turner.

To be continued...

~*~

God Bless,